MY LITTLE PONY lowdown.

My Little Pony?? A KID’s show?? Don’t make me laugh. My Little Pony is the SHIT! Lemme lay down the story for you, homeboy.

Basically, there’s this Princess. Princess motherfucking Celestia. She runs the whole shit. She’s the bitch-in-charge. She has two great wings, and is the fastest flier in Equestria. But she don’t give a fuck. She’s got Pegasus bitches left and right to carry here wherever the fuck she wants!

Then there’s Twilight Sparkle, and don’t even get me started on Twilight Sparkle. This bitch can do magic.. MOTHERFUCKING MAGIC! Plus she’s Celestia’s most trusted student. That’s like being the motherfucking vice-president here in the real world.

There’s Pinkie Pie, and man, this bitch is CRAZY! She does whatever the fuck she wants, because she doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks.She gets shit done. She wants a party, SHE THROWS A MOTHERFUCKING PARTY! And not just any party. Where’s the beer? Where’s the weed? FUCK THAT SHIT! WE GOT MOTHERFUCKING FRIENDSHIP! YOU’VE NEVER EXPERIENCED A HIGH UNTIL YOU GO TO ONE OF THIS BITCH’S PARTIES!

There’s Apple Jack, Man, this bitch is the reason we’ve got apple juice, apple sauce, apple motherfucking cider! You want something made of apples? Go to this bitch. She’s a fearless cunt who’s saved Equestria from countless stampedes. I’d like to see you do that shit.

We can’t forget Fluttershy. Damn! This bitch is one badass motherfucker! She loves animals. EVERY FUCKING ANIMAL IN THE FUCKING WORLD! Let’s say you’re walking home, then BAM!! PITBULL ATTACK! Just as he’s about to rip you open, Fluttershy comes, gives that pitbull bitch some affection (bitches love affection), and you get to keep your motherfucking life. All because of one bad ass pony.

We also have Rainbow Dash. This bitch is so fast that she was the first, and last to ever do the Sonic Rainboom. THE SONIC MOTHERFUCKING RAINBOOM! you know what that shit is?? Only a pegasus with SKILLZ can pull off that shit!

And last but not the least, we have Rarity. This is one hot bitch right here. The sexiest pony in all of Equestria. She’s got ponies swooning all over her left and right. Needless to say, this pony will MAKE YOU HER BITCH, SHE’LL PULL YOU INTO HER HOUSE, AND GIVE YOU A MOTHERFUCKING MAKEOVER. YOU’LL FALL HEAD-OVER-HOOVES FOR THIS BITCH SO FAST THAT NOT EVEN RAINBOW DASH WILL BE ABLE TO CATCH YOU.

And that, my friend, is MY LITTLE PONY: Friendship is magic.

About LAMONPALOOZA!

Mostly harmless and always looking for something to eat.
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